Bewilderhof -22

Bewilderhof – 22

Chapter 22
– fugitive, to sloth,
about kitchen and
connection

she had 12 yrs. here
he was nearing his 3rd.
and hearing what he heard

when she was drawn away
the awful endless wailing, assailing him ever since
– a grievous beast
caring nothing for the scarring

or the cinching of the binds
or the blinding of their
mother, to any good
the boy could have offered,

never would she allow her heart to be hitched to that
star of a boy whose only
wish was to shine in her opaque sky

when her mind went dark and
she sided with that darkness
patrolling the ramparts
of anguish
absorbed into a vow made
when she was at her
most broken

he took it upon himself,

as he grew older, to keep
the homestead running
it was then he came to sleep
here, forbidding himself
to go into other rooms

and for all the gloom
it was and is the heartbeat
it is where he stays, on a
a pallet by the stove
a stool by the window
a chair just outside the door

he can feel the rage in the walls as he makes tea or fills his pockets from the larder
he feels the rage trying to break
through the barrier built
by the lights
of his sister
feels the rage nurtured and
distilled by his

mother he
hears the rage
its voice
rumbling in frustration
trying to find a
language lost
to a
mothers madness

the crux being
the leaving of
a girl at the cusp of
adulthood

(c) 2015 Fred Whitehead