as a child

September 6, 2011 § 1 Comment

as a child I was told
to not play with matches
that guns are always loaded 
and if I ran with anything
sharper than a balloon
I would most assuredly
fall, driving it cleanly
through my spleen
and I would be dead before my 
mother could clean her hands
on her apron and come to see
what all the ruckus is about

I was also advised not to pick
a cat up by it’s tail
snakes don’t enjoy life in
a dresser drawer
and God apparently doesn’t like
you much if you don’t bathe regularly

also, my body, I was instructed,
was specifically 
designed to block a line drive
grounder, dog crap doesn’t pick itself
up and girls will hit back, usually with good reason and pretty much alot harder

the fact was driven home
that if I stole even so much as
a gumdrop I would rot in San Quentin
“the place where Johnny Cash sings?”
I would ask
“he got beat up by bank robbers, so he don’t go there no more, but if you steal anything I’ll drive you there myself!”
I was told

I, of course, challenged all of 
these guidelines,
save one
I’m still a pussy
when it comes to running
with anything pointy
must be from my ignorance
of what a spleen is for
I would just prefer it
stays intact


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